After a weeks struggle my collegue died yesterday...
It's been a strange week. I just did not feel right and so many memories came back, also about my Mom and her death. And how XX in many ways was like my Mom, only she was upfront about it - not once would she be surprised if anyone would call her loud ,harsh and opinionated. In a way I had a chance to learn to be myself, back myself up and stand my ground, hard lessons learned with many tears and much inner work. But learned nonetheless. I think people one loves or people one had much struggles with are those that affect us the most... For one learns so much from either type. And she and I had quite a history...
Hidden journaling goes:
XX- would you have been surprised to see me cry and mourn for you?
You and I - we had more than a fair share of disagreements. You are such a staunch, opinionated woman. Lous and harsh. Like a fieldmarshal. Only 1 way, your way, the right way... So much like my mother. You disapproved of my softness, my gentleness and thought it weakness. Dont think you 'got me'. But we learned to agree to disagree. And I think in the end we had a mutual respect for one another.
I will miss you XX. Thank you so much for all that I have learned through you.
Blessings for a safe journey!
This quiet introvert week has been good for me and making the page was another step..
I feel ok now. The funeral is in 2 days time and I will be going with another workmate and a couple of clients from work. More closure.
Good night for now!
4 comments:
Ilka, I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your work colleague. I think at times like this you really do start to look beyond the differences you may have had with people, and you do feel that sense of loss. I will be thinking of you. ((HUGS))
*hugs*, Ilka. Sorry to hear about your colleague.
Sorry to hear about your colleague. Well done for scrapping about it so quick and getting that journalling written. It is certainly times like these that we should stop and think about life and things we often take for granted. So true about the kinds of people who affect us and cause us to grow. (HUGS) and I can't wait to meet you in a few days.
Ilka, sorry to hear about your colleague and Thank You for sharing the journalling. I often say that sometimes we learn so much from the people that test us. Your journalling certainly strikes a cord.
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